The Politician Shuffle

   Friends and "those who know me" are aware that, one month ago, Sherrie and I suffered a personal tragedy... Fred, our little mixed-breed dog, was killed in a farm accident. He was like a child to us, and I still can't talk about him without becoming tearful. It's embarrassing, as I know he was only a dog... but he was our child. We have been profoundly affected, as I considered retiring from my job and literally dropping out. I am slowly recovering, however, so I will continue writing about the politicization of our public schools...
   Many people remember the sitcom Cheers and the show from 1993 in which "Woody Boyd" becomes a politician. This entire episode is very funny, but very accurate when describing Oklahoma politicians today... in my opinion.
   The plot of the Cheers episode is "When City Councilman Kevin Fogarty comes to Cheers on his re-election campaign spouting political rhetoric that nonetheless impresses the crowd, Frazier bets the gang that he can get a trained monkey on the ballot and get 10% of the vote. With several trained monkeys in sight (Norm, Cliff, Sammy, and Woody), Frazier chooses the highest IQ - Woody...
   One scene starts between Carla and Norm when Fogarty enters the bar:
Carla: I remember Fogarty.. He was here a couple of years ago trying to get our votes.
Norm: Oh, yeah, he bought me a beer...
Frazier: Did you vote for him?
Norm: He bought me a beer..
Fogarty: .. Something has to be done and the time is now..
Frazier: There he goes, spouting a bunch of meaningless platitudes, and sure enough the people are lapping it up like milk. Oh, the mentality of the voters in this country fascinates me. Someday I ought to do a paper about it.
Sam: What's your problem with Fogerty? He's not a bad guy.
Frazier: All right Sam, why don't you ask him a question, and I bet you ten bucks all he gives you is meaningless politician rhetoric.
Sam: Yeah, all right, you're on... Kevin Fogarty, I'm Sam Malone, the owner of this bar, a small business... What can you do to turn this economy around?
Fogarty: I say now is the time to roll up our shirtsleeves and get to the bottom of this. The only way we're gonna defeat this thing is if we all do it together.
Sam to Frazier: I think you owe me ten bucks!
Fogarty: Kevin Fogarty, City Council. I hope I have your vote on election day..
Frazier: And why exactly should I vote for you, Mr. Fogarty?
Fogarty: I'm glad you asked that. Well, because I'm a hard worker, and I take a stand.
Frazier: On what, exactly?
Fogerty: The issues of the day.
Frazier: Which are?
Fogarty: The things that concern you and your family... the most.
Sam to Frazier: I think you're making an ass out of yourself..
Frazier: I am not! I simply want the Councilman to say one concrete thing!
Fogarty: Yes, I understand. You don't trust me. A lot of people don't trust politicians. I know how it is - I've been out there.
Frazier: but what has that got to do with...
Fogarty: May I finish, please? Maybe we need someone to blame. Maybe if we pick some nameless person at city hall to be responsible for all our problems then we won't have to accept any responsibility at all. Well people, I say now is the time to start looking in the mirror! Because if this thing is going to work, we are ALL going to have to make it work.. the way a bunch of people made something work at Lexington and Concord. You may remember it, it's called AMERICA!
   At this point, Fogarty gets a standing ovation with cheering and applause from the bar patrons - and exits the bar.
Frazier: But he didn't say anything! Thank you people for proving my point!

   This was a very funny Boston scene in 1993, but very much true to politics everywhere. It's especially accurate for Oklahoma politicians in 2017, as many Oklahoma Senators and Representatives could be substituted for Councilman Fogarty. Many (not all) Oklahoma voters today are also similar to the bar patrons in Cheers. Just imagine your favorite Oklahoma politician's rhetoric in campaigning for state office and answering hard questions, to see if he or she fits the bill. Since I live in House District 42, I've imagined the District 42 Representative in Fogarty's role. I've heard his campaign speeches and his answers to hard questions, so it's easy to substitute Tommy Politician for Councilman Fogarty. We start the conversation between the Oklahoma voter (Sam) and Tommy Politician (Fogarty):
Okie Voter: What can you do to fix the state budget and turn this economy around?
Tommy: I say now is the time to roll up our shirt sleeves and get to the bottom of this. The only way we're gonna defeat this thing is if we all do it together.
   Since Tommy was over-whelmingly re-elected last year, we can see whether or not he "rolled up his shirt sleeves", balanced the state budget, and turned the economy around. He may have rolled up his shirt sleeves and worked hard, because he said he did. Tommy wrote an article several weeks ago for several newspapers in which he told everyone how hard he worked and how exceedingly difficult the budgeting work was. I think everyone knows by now though, that he and his corporate cronies were unable to pass a legal budget... or turn the economy around.
Okie Voter: Do you support the one-cent sales tax for teacher pay raises?
Tommy: I'm not voting for the one-cent sales tax for teacher pay raises.
   This is Tommy Politican's exact answer to the exact question.
Okie Voter: Do you believe teachers need a pay raise in Oklahoma?
Tommy: Yes....
Okie Voter: How are you going to provide a teacher pay ra... (Tommy interupts)
Tommy: May I finish, please? Maybe we need someone to blame. Maybe if we pick some nameless Oklahoma Legislator at the Capitol to be responsible for all our problems then we won't have to accept any responsibility at all. Well people (Oklahoma teachers), I say now is the time to start looking in the mirror! Because if teachers are going to get a pay raise, we are ALL going to have to make it work.. The way a bunch of people made something work at Lexington and Concord. You may remember it, it's called AMERICA!
   At this point, Tommy gets a standing ovation with cheering and applause from the bar patrons and a few teachers while exiting the bar.
Okie Voter: But he didn't say anything! Thank you people for proving my point!

   You'd really have to watch the scene on Youtube or on my facebook page to understand the similarities between Kevin Fogarty and Tommy Politician. Take a look at it, and imagine your favorite politician in Fogarty's place and you will see the resemblance is uncanny to Oklahoma politicians. Enjoy!